People can feel the moment you stop listening
People can feel the moment you stop listening. It usually happens quietly.
On a sales call, you hear a job title and decide how much power they have. You hear one objection and decide they are not serious. You hear silence and decide they have nothing to add.
You hear “send me more info” and decide the conversation is over.
The conversation keeps going. But the trust has already left.
The Ted Lasso darts scene works because it shows what happens when you decide too early. Rupert did not lose because Ted surprised him.
He lost because he never asked enough to be surprised. That happens in business every day. We label people before we understand them.
Decision maker. Blocker. Champion. Junior.
Not worth the follow-up. Then we stop speaking to the person.
We speak to the label. That is when people give smaller answers.
Safer answers. Answers that keep the meeting polite, but keep the truth out of reach. Curiosity changes the room.
It sounds like: What are you seeing that I might be missing? What has made this difficult so far?
Who else will have a strong view on this? What would make this feel like a safe decision? What would make this a bad idea right now?
Those questions do more than move the conversation forward. They show you have not decided yet.
That is why people open up. Ted was underestimated because Rupert had already judged him inadequate.
In business, people rarely hide the truth from someone they trust. They hide it from someone who has already decided.
Most people do not realize when trust leaves the conversation. They only notice when the deal disappears.
video credit: jpaulnadeau
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